The Blog

When leadership coaching’s done well, it changes everything. 

Leaders with strong coaching skills build confidence, lift performance, and help people do their best work. 

But when it’s done badly, it’s just another meeting in the diary. It leaves people feeling flat, or worse, like they’ve been told off.

Coaching isn’t a speech, a tick-box exercise, or a chance to show how clever you are. It’s a conversation that helps people think for themselves, make good decisions, and grow in confidence. 

Even the best leaders fall into habits that make coaching sessions less useful than they could be. Here are seven of the most common mistakes we see and simple, practical ways to avoid them.

1. Doing All the Talking

Ever left a coaching session wondering who was being being coached - you or them? That’s how your team feels if you spend most of the time talking. Coaching isn’t a lecture.

Do this instead:

Aim to listen more than you speak. Try open questions like:

“What’s on your mind about this?”

“What do you think is getting in the way?”

You’ll learn more, and they’ll feel genuinely heard.

2. Jumping Straight to Solutions

Leaders are natural fixers. You see a problem, you want to solve it. But if you hand over the answer every time, people stop thinking for themselves. Next time there’s an issue, they’ll just wait for you to tell them what to do.

Do this instead:

Hold back on advice and ask:

“What options do you see?”

“Which approach feels best to try first?”

You’ll build their confidence and their independence.

3. Only Coaching When Things Go Wrong

If coaching only happens after mistakes or missed targets, it feels like punishment. “Coaching” becomes a code word for “you’re in trouble.”

Do this instead:

Coach when things go well too. Ask:

“What worked well this time?”

“How can you build on that success?”

Positive coaching helps people repeat what’s working, not just fix what’s broken.

4. Making It About You

It’s easy to slip into storytelling mode – “This reminds me of when I…” – and suddenly the session’s about your experience, not theirs.

Do this instead: 

Share examples sparingly, and always bring it back to them:

“Does that sound similar to your situation?”

Keep the focus on their challenges, their ideas, their growth.
 

5. Skirting Around the Real Issue

Avoiding awkward topics doesn’t make them disappear. Problems just sit there, waiting to resurface later.

Do this instead:

Tackle things kindly and clearly. Try:

“I sense there’s more to this – shall we talk about it?”

Real coaching means real conversations, even when they’re a bit uncomfortable.

6. Forgetting to Follow-Up

One conversation won’t change habits. Without follow-up, actions drift and coaching feels like a box ticked.

Do this instead:

End each chat with one clear next step. Then check in later:

“What did you try, and how did it go?”

It shows you care and keeps momentum going.

7. Rushing the Ending

Ever finished a coaching session with a vague “let’s keep in touch”? Without reflection, the learning slips away.

Do this instead:

Take two minutes to ask:

“What’s your biggest takeaway from this chat?”

“What will you do differently now?”

That short pause at the end helps the learning stick.

Final Thought

Great coaching doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about time, space, and the right questions so people can think, decide, and grow.

Avoid these common mistakes and your coaching conversations will start to feel different. More real, more useful, the kind your team actually looks forward to because they build trust, confidence, and better results.

Want more?

For more on leadership coaching, listen to our podcast episode Executive Coaching: How Does It Work? from The Reality of Business.

If you’d like to strengthen your own coaching skills – or help your leaders do the same – Reality Training offers practical, proven programmes that make coaching feel natural, not scripted.

Book a conversation with us: ann@realitytraining.com